Do you Believe in Magic?

“Do you believe in magic, Vanessa?” a guest on my podcast asked me recently.

I was caught off guard. I didn’t know how to answer. I fumbled for elegance, but instead I blurted out, “I don’t know.”  I have lots of thoughts on the subject that cannot fit into a “Yes” or “No” checked box. The answer I gave her was, “I don’t know.” because my answer is Yes, and No, and everything in between.

And I believe I repeated myself three or four times as I tried to separate threads of thought into something coherent, something intelligent, but they were too tangled to follow. I think, a more accurate description of my feelings fits in the ‘Facebook relationship box’- “Its complicated.”

There is a part of me that wants desperately to believe in magic. To believe that the impossible is possible. That somewhere in the world there is an unseen force that has the potential to move time and space. The thought of magic, being able to control things that feel uncontrollable is alluring.

Part of the problem is that the definition of magic is fuzzy. What is magic? I think magic is defined differently by different people. 

If you ask my young elementary-aged son, he will define magic by what a magician does. When I think magic, I immediately think Harry Potter and wands. But I also think of nature, and the elements. That feeling you get when quiet in a place that feels magical. That sense that there is more to the world and universe than we understand.

I remember standing at the top of the cliff side of the Italian Riviera, hiking between the romantic villages of Cinque Terre, I felt moved to tears. How are places like this even real? How can beauty this magnificent actually exist? In those quite moments, I have felt the thread of magic pulsing in the world. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. Is it magic or is it the divine? Are magic and divine one in the same, just called by different names by different groups of people?

So let’s try and define magic. Author of History of Magic, Chris Gosden says this. “My definition emphasizes human participation in the universe. To be human is to be connected, and the universe is also open to influence from human actions and will.” 

So is it magic when someone who has nearly 0% chance of surviving, wakes from a coma? Is the power of prayer magic?  Because that is human participation. There are studies that show that human touch, and connection have healing powers, even stimulating cell growth. To me, that feels magical. Science has started to attempt to explain it, citing endorphins and cortisol, and that is likely part of it, but I think its only a part of a bigger picture we can’t see, and may never see. Do some people see magic, where others see God?

I have a scientific mind. I ask lots and lots of questions to get at the heart, to get at the root of things (hence this podcast). But I also have an active imagination and an open-mind. In my mind, magic, religion and science are not polar opposites, but in fact different versions or possibly reflections of similar things. Science helps us to better understand the world in technical terms, laws, and rules. But there is so much science would like to explain but just can’t. It tries desperately to fit the world into neat categorized boxes that are uniform and make complete sense. But there are so many things that science, at this point, absolutely cannot explain. Medical miracles, dark matter, dark energy, static electricity and even elements of gravity. The universe itself its unknowable, and our minds aren’t truly capable of comprehending it all. Trying to imagine 200 trillion galaxies in the known universe is inconceivable, and that’s just the numbers part. To say we understand the universe is false. We know small parts, but not the expanse. Its like we’re only able to see a black dot, but we’re really looking at the spot of a ladybug, and the ladybug is not within our vision. Is magic just science we have yet to explain?

It wasn’t so long ago that intuition, that gut feeling, felt magical. Science now explains it as completely logical. Your subconscious helps to make sense of things you’ve been observing with your senses to make informed decisions. But just because science couldn’t explain it a few years ago, didn’t make it any less real.

And then, there are my kids.

I want my kids to believe in magic, and despite my better judgement I even lie to them in order to create that sense of magic and wonder. 

I lie to them about Santa Claus, about the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny. I lie to them because I want to spark their imagination. I want them to hold onto that childhood wonder. That sense that the world is amazing, and not cruel. I want them to believe that this beautiful Earth that we inhabit is magical, and that they themselves sparkle with magical energy and possibility. I want to instill this magic in my children because as adults, we see death and destruction. And there are days in which the despair is too overwhelming and we instead choose to numb ourselves to feel nothing. And when we numb ourselves, we forget to notice the beauty and wonder of the world, of which there is an abundance. Dumbledoore’s quote from the Harry Potter series feels fitting here, “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light” J. K. Rowling. And that is what we do with our children, fill them with light.

So my answer is still I don’t know.

My answer is still, its complicated, but I am open to the possibility. I believe there is more in the world than we can see, touch, feel, hear and taste, but I haven’t seen evidence of magic like in fantasy stories. I like science, but science doesn’t explain everything, nor do I believe that that is science’s role. So, do I believe in magic? We shall see.